In Which John Learns About Beauty

Sorry, no pictures this time.

Wednesday was another low-key day, trying to rest up from the previous night and prepare for the following. I walked around campus, and realized how truly beautiful many parts of it are. The next time I have a completely free day, I am going to take so many pictures, my camera will be full of pretty pictures.

The next day was an all-day orientation. As in, "15 hours of my life are now missing." The first half of the day session was spent talking about Australia. A Native Australian (like Native American) tried to tell us about his culture, but the students were all unresponsive, resulting in a very awkward sequence in which he shouted out common American names, expecting students to come up on stage. Only a Mary, a Patrick, and 2 Johns came, out of the 20 or so names he called.

At lunch, I found the crew from UMD to sit and eat lunch with. After 20 min of realizing that they weren't going to talk to me, I went to find other people. I finally stumbled across a group of guys who were fun to talk to. Apparently, they and 60 other students where part of a Study Abroad Program who had already been here for a few weeks. This is the reason that everyone seemed to already know each other back at the barbeque.

After lunch, we learned about our class schedules. You guys back at MD have it so easy to sign up for classes. For us, we have to get permission from the teacher if we want to take their class. Then, we have to sign up for each section individually. For example, if a class has two lectures and a discussion each week, we have to sign up for each one. Sometimes lectures will be open and discussions full. So then we have to contact the teacher to get in to the discussion section. And when you are making your schedule, you can only see one class at a time. You can't see the whole schedule at once to find a place to fit a class. And if you drop a class, you have to get the student office to sign off or else you'll continue to be enrolled. Many people get F's because they thought they dropped a class.

Then we got our ID cards made. Everyone says theirs look bad. Mine looks bad. I look as if I've just been beaten up and I've been wanted for sexual offense.

That night, we were supposed to go on a cruise around the Sydney harbor. Did I tell you that every party in Australia has a theme? Well every single one has a theme. You'd think this would be my dream. But try finding an '80s outfit in your wardrobe in 2 hours, when you've only packed 2 weeks worth of clothes. Fortunately, I managed to make a Bruce Springsteen "Born in the U.S.A." costume. I was proud of myself.

I traveled by bus with the group of 60 people, and I was having fun mingling with them. And when we got to the Sydney Opera House, the weather was magnificent, and it was clear this was going to be a fun night.

Highlights of the Cruise: At nighttime, when the harbor lights up, the experience is breathtaking. I had forgotten my camera as I rushed to make the bus for the cruise, so I'll have to return for Sydney for that.

Lowlights of the Cruise: There's a reason I'm not a fan of huge parties. I feel that I can communicate and bond with people better on a personal level through talking. Talking is my comfort zone. At a party, there is loud music, heavy drinking, and a large number of people. The only way to communicate is through shouting, or physical communication.

I think we should all just accept the fact that I'm not going to be a drinker. I hate the taste of alcohol, and I fear what I'll do if I ever drink enough to lose control of my judgment. On the small cruise boat filled with 200 people, 99% were drinking, and those remaining were either pretty people getting hit on, or good friends with the drinkers. I have not known any of the people long enough to become friends with them before they all got wasted. So I opted to just enjoy the cruise and take in the sights, and block out the loud noises and cigarette smells (occassionally I was put in charge of photographer for...everyone). I tried to keep telling myself that I wasn't fitting in because I've been spending all my time with Australians, as opposed to the rest of the Americans, which is what I wanted, right? It must have become evident that I was not enjoying myself, because at one point, a guy from UMD slapped me on the back and simply said, "Buy yourself a drink and have fun," then walked away. That's when I cried.

Don't worry, no one noticed. I was leaning against the wind, facing away from the party. And it wasn't long. Just enough to make me realize how deeply I had let his words affect me. But I felt safe at the edge of the boat. I wasn't homesick. I was just a little tired of the human race for a bit. I've never felt so alone. But at the edge of the boat, when I could only see the beauty of the Harbor, I felt powerful. I felt that this image was mine. Everyone else was missing out. They didn't notice how swiftly the waves moved, or how enchanting the amusement park seemed. I was experiencing magic.

Then a girl came over and introduced herself. She said she was trying to meet everyone at the party. I knew that wasn't true, but I talked to her anyway. Another girl, from Austria, also joined our conversation. She was the only Austrian at the party, and I knew that everything I was feeling was not unique. She must have felt even more isolated, being the only one from her country. But she was making the most of it, taking pictures of everything. It was charming. Then the girls eventually went on their ways. The Austrian girl came back at one point to tell me I looked tired. I guess I was. It was 10pm, and I was ready to get off the boat.

When we all disembarked, I did not really want to go back with the people I had come with. But I didn't know my way back to the bus stop. A couple of girls from the Hawaii episode saw that I looked lost, and told me to join their group as we went to find a bus. They had a guy friend who was trying to cheer me up by saying how he used to be the non-drinker at parties, but the trick to having a good time is to just goof around and act like you've been drinking so that you fit in. He clearly missed the point.

After an hour, we finally found the bus stop. Their group took a taxi back, but I did not want to pay for another cab so I waited for the bus. Through stupid details I'd rather not get into, the bus never came for another hour and a half. Everyone left in taxis. I finally had to join the three remaining students on their taxi ride. And again, they lived at the opposite end of campus.

So I had to walk back again, just like the other night. But this time, I was without my family.